The #RoastYourself Challenge

So one of my best friends challenged me to do the #RoastYourself challenge.

Challenge accepted. (This is obviously only in written format because it’s a blog)

SO HERE WE GO:

Where do I even commence?

 

How bout

I say I want to date a gent

But I can’t talk to any men,

Or flirt

Or send

A text to say I want to begin

This relationship…

I mean…friendship

Because I seem to friendzone every guy

Whose profile I swipe right

Because my standards are too high.

I say I’m really desperate

But also fed up with it

Is my singleness permanent?

I don’t know

Why don’t you tell me bout it?

 

I’m non binary

But my boyfriend might run away from me

Since I dress too manly

And question my sexuality

And crush on a girl

Who’ll never like me in reality

 

I dye my hair to look cool

But I pity the fool

Who bleaches their strands

Four times

Because she can’t stand

Her natural hair.

…oh wait. That’s me.

 

I’m Chinese,

Yet people find me

So white

Because my skin’s light

And I can barely write

Any mandarin

I don’t know

well known

Chinese

people

Or films

Or songs

Yet I find it wrong

When others don’t know pop punk.

 

Back in high school

I was smarter and way less cool

Science was my tool

To get into Uni

I took all the honours

Now they’re a goner.

Started to get Cs and Ds

And dropped them from my degree

I tell people I work on a Bachelor of Arts…

….in health sciences

And I’m met with confused silences.

I try to explain,

But I never sound truly sane

I’m a failure to the science kids

And a failure to the arts kids

I tack on a minor

To make it all better

Yet I’m still not a go-getter

 

I want to make music

But don’t confuse it

With a melody

Since I can’t compose it

And try not to show it

But my lyrics aren’t that great

Without music to it.

I’d like to record a song

But I sing half the notes wrong

By myself..

Once my vocal partner is gone.

 

I say I play guitar

But in 5 years

I still can’t hold a bar…

Chord

And I never made it that far

By self teaching

Cause I’m just not that smart.

 

I call myself a slam poet,

But poetry slams,

I can’t go to it

Because I stutter

And my voice ain’t like butter

How I have a radio show,

I don’t even know

 

 I burnt grilled cheese

And I’m scared of bees

And I want to believe

I won’t die alone

With cats and dogs with fleas

 

I talk too loud

I’m queer and proud

But do people even care

Probably not.

 

Is this worth blogging

And instagramming

and tweeting

cause I’m always on the Internet

Yet I’m not even interesting.

 

-EVA

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BEDA Day 8: The problem with YouTube

(12:27 am. whatever. I was too preoccupied with watching olympic swimming)

I love YouTube and I enjoy watching YouTubers on the daily, I really do. However, lately I’ve stopped clicking on videos made by some big name YouTubers because they’ve stopped putting effort into their content. No one needs four videos in a row of (insert name here) trying candy from different countries.

It’s perfectly acceptable and needed (because YouTubers have to make money somehow) to make a sponsored video once in a while, but when a YouTuber abuses that power, and makes many in a row, it’s akin to taking advantage of their fan support.

The same with makeup/clothing hauls, they’re fun to watch, but these kind of videos are not quality content. They show that you’ll make whatever video just for the money and the views.

This is mostly why I enjoy watching YouTubers with under 4,000,000 subscribers, because I know that they’re not too famous that they will stop putting in the effort.

-EVA

 

BEDA Day 9 – My Dating Rap

This was obviously inspired by Emma Blackery’s dating rap, as well as LukeIsNotSexy’s dating rap. (Sorry Luke, but Emma’s was better)

So, here we go!

Wait…what do I even say?

Just tell them a little bit about yourself!

Well, okay!

I’m Eva 19 and I don’t drink milk

I don’t wanna be a douche so I don’t wear silk

I’m trained in karate and could probably kill

Y’know…but I won’t

I tried to play piano but I failed so hard

Now I just stick to jamming on the  gui-tar

I like writing poems and I like writing songs

And I’ve never smoked weed out of a bong

I’ve never got drunk and I don’t wanna find out

Because tipsy me already laughs really loud.

I used to annoy everyone back in high school

And now I’m way better…

Oh wait, no, I still do

I’m five foot 5 and I can’t really flirt

…unless I’m not trying to…then I’m great!

My friends think I’m scary when I get mad

So I try not to but then I get sad

So if you’re interested then yo dawg hit me up

But if you’re not…then you got impaired judgement

-EVA

BEDA (PEDA included)

For some YouTubers, August is a month when VEDA happens. VEDA stands for “Video Every Day in August”. However, since I do not have enough time every day to film and edit and upload a video to the interwebs, I decided to do BEDA, which stands for “Blog Every Day in August”. I will also insert some PEDA “Poem Every Day in August” entries here and there.

 I think it will be a productive thing to do, writing thirty blog entries in the span of thirty days. Also, when I look back on this in the future, I will read about what I did and felt and experienced when I was nineteen.

So, I suggest you all, whoever may be reading this blog post, to start your own BEDA, or PEDA or VEDA. You’ll thank yourself in the future.

-EVA

Consent

I know this topic has long died down in the YouTube community, and people aren’t really talking about it anymore, but last night, I clicked on a few videos on this topic that people made. One of them was Evan Edinger’s heartbreaking video where he talked about Alex Days, Sam Pepper and Jason (veeoneeye). I don’t know the feeling of betrayal (small betrayals, yes, I do know the feeling, but nothing as big as Evan’s), and I hope I never will know that feeling, but watching Evan talk about people he formerly looked up to, just made me feel so sad.

While watching Dodie Clark’s (doddleoddle) video, I was reading through the comments. I came across two people in the comments saying things that were SO UTTERLY WRONG. it’s scary how twisted their outlook on sexual abuse is. I really hope their outlook on life isn’t this bad.

We’re living in the 21st century, and people (such as the people in the comments) still think that a guy and a girl cannot sleep in the same bed, without sexual things happening. Hell, people still don’t think a guy and a girl can be good friends / best friends without a relationship or sexual tension forming.

The two people in the comments are able to excuse sexual harassment due to a girl and a guy sleeping in the same bed. It’s okay for a guy to touch a girl inappropriately, because they’re sleeping in the same bed. The guy is bound to have feelings of sexual tension, so if he touches a girl without CONSENT, it’s totally okay.

Many people in the world, no, not just feminists, but everyone, knows and enforces that A PERSON CAN ONLY CONSENT TO DOING ANYTHING WITH YOU IF SHE USES HER WORDS AND SAYS “YES”

GODAMMIT, how do people still not get that?

A girl lying extremely still and not moving away when a guy touches her does not mean YES at all!!!! She’s scared to move, because she fears that if she moves, something even worse might occur.

Getting a girl intoxicated does not mean YES either, because her mind has been clouded by alcohol! She CANNOT give consent anymore! If you have sex with her, even if she says yes, is rape, because her intoxicated mind is not the same as her sober mind, her saying yes could have her waking up in the morning, and a) not remembering a thing or b) regretting it immensely.

-EVA

I Suck at Doing what I Love

In 2014, I told myself that I would write more songs (well, more like lyrics, I suck at melodies) and cover more songs.

Both, I failed to achieve.

2014 was a year in which I wrote better and more emotionally impacting lyrics than ever, but I just didn’t write many.

I also made a YouTube channel (do check it out) and I swore to myself that I would film and record covers as well as originals.

I uploaded one. ONE. ONE COVER. which by the way was Yellow by Coldplay.

On the band channel I formed with Karen, we recorded and filmed one cover. ONE COVER. *sigh*. It was Try by Colbie Caillat

I feel so disappointed in myself. Which is why in 2015, my New Years resolution is to write more music next year as well as record more music. Both covers and originals. (Haha to prepare for this I changed my guitar strings to Gibson strings. So I can say I own something Gibson. I needed to change them anyways.)

-EVA

It Finally Happened!!

We finally formed that band that we have been talking about forming. And We actually did something productive and made a cover! We’ll put the links below. It feels good that we did this, because we’ve been talking about doing this for a long time now. We created this duo/band a month and half ago, and because of school, we couldn’t find the time to record a cover.

Buuuuuut, we finally took out some time and recorded a cover of Try by Colbie Caillat. It took us a few tries to make it decent (with me (Eva) threatening to slap Karen if she messed up one more time, joking of course), and we’re really proud of the end result.

The cover isn’t perfect, we are off key a few times, and I hit the guitar with my pick a couple times, but that’s what we like about acoustic covers, that there’s no reverb, or autotune. If we’re going to record acoustically, we will keep the vocals raw. The video, obviously, will be edited.

We will be recording/filming more covers soon, and we will also be writing our own songs to put on your YouTube channel. So stay tuned!

Channel Link: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCX_4j2h2LCEByYbgvOLKRNg

Link to our cover of Try: http://youtu.be/m7WwTPbvk58