Fitting Rooms

Man, I really dislike fitting rooms.

There are many reasons as to why I think this way, and you might also feel the same way.

So let us begin this list of peeves shall we?

  1. Why do you need my name???: I swear, 1/3 stores I enter has some overly cheery person dressed in all the latest gear ask me for my name. I’m just here to try on a bunch of clothes that I probably won’t buy anyways. I don’t want to awkwardly tell you my name after 3 seconds of stammering the first letter like “E-e-e-eva” and then not look at your face because I know for sure you’ll look hella amused. For most people, this might not be a big problem, but I have a slight speech impediment, so I’d like to do this as little as possible

  2. They tiny tho: I will never be a total jackass and take the handicapped fitting room(s) just for their comfortable size. However, would it kill clothing chains to add a few square feet to their supply closet sized fitting rooms? I don’t want to have to watch for any sharp bench edges or a misplaced hook jabbing me in the back/legs/stomach when I twirl in that cute dress.

  3. Stop asking me stuff: A fitting room is uncomfortable enough for me without you hovering by and asking me if I’m okay every couple minutes. If I want a different size or a different colour, I will probably ask for help (unless a friend is nearby, and in that case they’ll be my clothes swapper) and thank you for walking to the other end of the store to retrieve it for me. But if I’m not, then it’s probably safe to assume that I’m doing okay.



What I have learned from not dressing feminine from a young age

Ever since I became old enough to style myself, I have never dressed “feminine”. I would go to the mall with my mom and argue with her over a shirt that I loved but she thought would make me look like a boy. Most of the time, I won.

Now, my mom never really fought with me over my clothing choices because I had a horrible sense of style. No, she fought with me because she wanted me to dress girly. She’d point to frilly camisoles or flowery dresses in the shop windows in hopes that I’d want to try them on. I never did.

So, for the last 8 years, I’ve lived in skinny jeans, t-shirts and sweaters. I can’t walk in heels to save my life.

I didn’t really look too much into it in high school, mostly because I didn’t care how I looked. I mean, come on, it’s high school, it’s a hell hole where you spend 5 years goofing off and praying you got in a post-secondary institution. I had a great group of friends, I became close to a few wonderful teachers, I graduated with honours.

However, now that I think back on it, the way I am dressed combined with my personality (bubbly, excitable, chill, aggressive and defensive when I have to be), I blend easily and very well with the “guys”. Most of my guy friends consider me a “bro” (hate that term but it fits) and use me as their girl advice guru, which I am okay with.

Now that I’m turning 20 years old this year and is still hoplessly single, I’m starting to wonder if the way I dress affects me not having any sort of a romantic life.

YUP. YUP. YUP. I definitely think it has an effect on my non-existenet love life. Especially since I’ve got pixie cut too. I’m quite cuddly with a couple of my female friends as well. All of the above reasons probably cause men to think I’m a lesbian. Guys never approach me, and most of the time, I am too pathetic to approach a guy.

All of this makes me wonder, why is dressing androgynous so frowned upon in society? Why does it repel most guys? Why are short hair and wearing collared shirts considering to be lesbian characteristics?

I know the answer to these questions. We all do. These are what society has taught us to believe, so we do. But isn’t it time to step out of this box and realize that physical appearance has nothing to do with sexuality and very little to do with personality? We could hate hanging out with guys and love talking about the newest episode of The Bachelor but toe the line when dressing. Or wear dresses everyday and hang out with guys 24/7 and talk sports.


Short Hair on Women

There is a preconceived conception that usually comes to mind when people talk about short hair (now I’m not talking about bobs, I’m talking about pixie cuts or even buzz cuts). this makes little to no sense to me as I can find little reason behind it.

“Having short hair makes you look like a lesbian.” I heard this one when I got a pixie cut and one of my best friends commented that I looked like “a raging lesbian”.

Now, I know where this conception came from, it’s clear that people think lesbians all look like dudes. So, consequently, all women with short hair must also be lesbian. Having a pixie cut makes you look a guy. Some women with short hair also like to dress either slightly androgynous or fully androgynous.

I’d like to remind everyone that many women who have long hair and dress “feminine” or “girly” are lesbians. Ingrid Nilsen, who recently came out, has a distinct feminine vibe to her. Her hair is long, she loves wearing dresses and she loves makeup. Ellen Page has long hair as well, her hair is past her shoulders and she is a lesbian. Gaby from Buzzfeed has long hair, she gives off a feminine vibe and she is also bisexual.



My Holy Grail beauty products

I don’t usually write blog posts on the topic of beauty, it’s just not my thing. I usually write about feelings, or my opinions on issues, or school things, or poetry. I wrote a couple of GRWMs for BEDA because I was running out of topics and GRWMs are fun to write if you truly enjoy writing them.

But today I thought that I would try to write about beauty because as I’ve grown out of the teenager phase, I’ve paid more attention to my skin and how to take care of it. I’ve also paid more attention to makeup, because I realized that even though I look fine without any makeup, I look better and more confident with makeup. I also look more awake (LOL, because when do i ever get enough sleep?). I usually don’t leave the house without at least filling in my eyebrows, and most of the time I dab on a bit of concealer. This is not to say that I don’t like how I look naturally, as I stated above, I do. However, if filling in my eyebrows makes me feel better, then why not?

So, without further rambling, here are some beauty products that have become my Holy Grail products:

1. Aveeno Stress Relief Moisturizing Lotion: Even though it’s not supposed be used as a facial moisturizer, I use it as one anyways. It’s not heavy at all, it smells of lavender, and it does a superb job of keeping my face looking and feeling great. I bought a huge bottle of it a couple years ago, and I haven’t finished it yet.

2. Simple Kind to Skin Protecting Light Moisturizer SPF 15: I bought this because I absolutely hated having to spray sunscreen or smear sunscreen on my face. So I thought, “hey, why not buy a moisturizer with SPF?” I went shopping and this was the cheapest one I found. It’s smells kind of like sunscreen but I can deal with that. (FUN FACT: I got a face full of freckles after not putting sunscreen on my face for the whole summer. I worked at an amusement park, and the sun was shining down on my face everyday).

3. Lush None of Your Beeswax Lip Balm: This smells of lemon bars, it’s vegan and it’s animal cruelty free. It doesn’t hurt that it feels like a dream on my lips.

4. Makeup Forever Artiste Palette Volume 1: THIS PALETTE OH MY GOD. It’s a lifesaver. I use the taupe grey and black together as my eyebrow colour and they are usually on fleek. Yea, yea, I know that they’re not matte, but they’re also not shimmery, (so I consider them to be matte) so if I want to use them on my eyebrows, then let me be. The lightest, almost translucent white colour I use as eyebrow highlight. The other six colours I use as eyeshadow. A couple of swipes on the lid, paired with some blending, and I look like I actually spent time on my eyeshadow, which I haven’t. I usually dont…

5. Rimmel Wake Me Up Concealer: Dark Circles and red patches/areas BE GONE!

6. Rimmel Stay Matte Pressed Powder: My face looks flawless as fuck. Pores? Who me? Nah.

7. Clinique Cream Shaper For Eyes: The only pencil/cream liner that doesn’t run and end up turning me into a raccon halfway through the day. It’s also only $19. Most eyeliners are at least $5-6 more expensive.

8. Nars Lip Crayon: I’m not too big of a fan of the velvet matte lip pencils (I have one in Cruella, and honestly, it’s just meh). The Satin lip pencils are great though. They’re moisturizing and they stay for a few hours with eating and drinking.

OKAY I’M DONE. Hope you found this informative/helpful!




I am one of those people with dense bones and a shitty metabolism. For the amount of food I eat and how much I walk around everyday, I shouldn’t be at the weight I am. But I am.

In society, I’m not fat. I wear a medium most of the time. Sometimes I’m a large.

My parents have always instilled in me their opinion, which is that I’m fat, and I need to lose a good 20 pounds. And sadly, it’s stuck. I don’t like looking at the number on the scale because even though I know I’ve lost fat around my stomach or my thighs have gotten smaller, the number never really changes. I hate it. I feel like the number is the only way to prove that I’ve gotten slimmer. Not seeing those numbers change hurts.

I try to be confident in my own skin. But sometimes that’s hard to do. I feel so fucking insecure sometimes.



BEDA Day 27 – GRWM throughout the years

2011: This was when I started cutting my hair short, so I had a chin length bob. Throw on a pair of black skinny jeans, low top converse, and a grey TNA hoodie. Makeup? What is that?

2012: Do the same thing as the year before, but add in a few cardigans. You discover mascara, which is a good thing

2013: Pop Punk! All the Pop Punk! You discover checkers, and layering unbuttoned checkered shirts over a t-shirt. Good, good. Aaaaand now is when you discover eyeliner! Pile it on underneath your eyes like an emo scene kid from the early 2000s

2014: Vans. You discover Vans. Now instead of looking emo, you look like a hipster skater girl. You bought striped t-shirts and more checkers/plaid. You discover foundation and eyeshadow and blush. Finally, a little too late if you ask me. You have an obsession with playing acoustic guitar. ALL THE DAMN TIME.

2015: Your style has evolved, and so has your hair. You grew out your hair and rocked the long tresses for a good 8 months. Then you chopped it all off for a pixie cut. You bought a few dark coloured dresses and skirts! You also bought a denim vest from the men’s side of the store. You bought a bowler hat. Also, combat, you own Doc Martens. Your style is sometimes denim vest hipster and sometimes all black wearing punk chick and sometimes bowler hat sporting 1940s vintage. You finally understand that eyebrows are important, and now know how to fill them in. You buy concealer, as you realize that trying to put foundation on your under eye bags doesn’t work.



BEDA Day 17 – Nail Polish

I painted my nails today. The last time I painted them was at prom. I messed up four nails and finally got it to the point of “This looks good” after about 2.5 hours.

Why do I even bother again?