Fat

I am one of those people with dense bones and a shitty metabolism. For the amount of food I eat and how much I walk around everyday, I shouldn’t be at the weight I am. But I am.

In society, I’m not fat. I wear a medium most of the time. Sometimes I’m a large.

My parents have always instilled in me their opinion, which is that I’m fat, and I need to lose a good 20 pounds. And sadly, it’s stuck. I don’t like looking at the number on the scale because even though I know I’ve lost fat around my stomach or my thighs have gotten smaller, the number never really changes. I hate it. I feel like the number is the only way to prove that I’ve gotten slimmer. Not seeing those numbers change hurts.

I try to be confident in my own skin. But sometimes that’s hard to do. I feel so fucking insecure sometimes.

-Eva