You know what kind of impression you give off when you go through your child’s phone? The “I don’t trust you to have sensible judgement” one. You child doesn’t want you to read their messages, not because they’re trying to hide anything, but because they just want their privacy. They want you to trust that they’re making the right kind of friends, they’re being a good friend, and they’re not doing anything illegal. And when they hang out with the boys, even if some said boys are in relationships, they hope that you trust them to know their limits. They’re not going to be home wreckers and destroy any relationship. You have no right, however, to take their phone when they’re not looking. You can always ask to see their phone. Your kid is going to start deleting text messages and being paranoid of what they can text and can’t text.