In 2014, I told myself that I would write more songs (well, more like lyrics, I suck at melodies) and cover more songs.
Both, I failed to achieve.
2014 was a year in which I wrote better and more emotionally impacting lyrics than ever, but I just didn’t write many.
I also made a YouTube channel (do check it out) and I swore to myself that I would film and record covers as well as originals.
I uploaded one. ONE. ONE COVER. which by the way was Yellow by Coldplay.
On the band channel I formed with Karen, we recorded and filmed one cover. ONE COVER. *sigh*. It was Try by Colbie Caillat
I feel so disappointed in myself. Which is why in 2015, my New Years resolution is to write more music next year as well as record more music. Both covers and originals. (Haha to prepare for this I changed my guitar strings to Gibson strings. So I can say I own something Gibson. I needed to change them anyways.)
Recently, I feel like I have accumulated an alias. I feel fake. That the person who you see in public is not the me inside. I’m so insecure about myself and I have trust issues. Why? I became friends with a person who later betrayed my trust towards him in grade one. I don’t trust people. Especially ones I’ve just recently met. It doesn’t help that I’ve been bullied all through elementary school. it would be a complete lie to say that that hasn’t had a single affect on the person I am today. The victim blaming I had to face after that didn’t help one fucking bit either.