How much do I really want to stay at uni?

I don’t know. I don’t feel like I have a need to stay at uni. It’s kind of just for my parents. I know that it’s all for my future, but I want YouTube to be my full-time job. Ok, maybe not full time, but I wish sometimes that I wouldn’t have the hassle of balancing school work with YouTube. I enjoy making videos much more. If I had more free time, I could do much more things to increase views, subscribers, etc. And create more projects. My whole life surrounded my parents wishes. I don’t know if that’s what I really want to do anymore. They have told me what to do, what not to do. I don’t know what I really want anymore, and I’m annoyed.

I understand. I understand that having my own apartment is a big load of money. But I want to move out and be independent. Not because I dislike my parents, but because I want to have my own life, and a bit more freedom. Almost too often now I want to have some kind of time machine so I can see what I will be in a few years. Perhaps I will still be in YouTube, maybe I’ll be a psychologist in training. I wish that I could have started YouTube later in life, maybe after university, but that’s not possible.
The problem is, I have really terrible self control and time management. While others can balance school and even a full time job, I rarely can stop myself from going on YouTube and getting lost in cyberspace. It’s midterm week. It’s almost over, but I still have three midterms and a quiz to study for, yet I somehow still let myself get lost. Another distraction is reading fanfic. I was searching the troyler tag on tumblr, and came upon a fanfic. I started reading it, and it was one of those stories that were too good to put down. There goes another day of reading instead of studying like a good student.
Also, if you watch my videos on a regular basis, I’m trying to work on my videos, but sometimes I feel like I’m kinda almost too lazy to edit them. I’ll film it, and never post it.
That’s it for this rant.
– Karen


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